


Surface of Intention

by deathwailart



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-02-22
Packaged: 2018-03-14 11:58:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3409721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathwailart/pseuds/deathwailart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cosima Shepard and Tali before the run through the relay and the assault on the Collector ship, the first they both really see one another.</p>
<p>I will meet you on the nape of your neck one day,<br/>on the surface of intention, word becoming act.<br/>We will breathe into each other the high mountain tales,<br/>where the snows come from, where the waters begin.</p>
<p>- Luke Davis, In the Yellow Time of Pollen</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surface of Intention

Cosima's not pacing. She's not. Only it's pretty hard to deny that she's pacing, wandering back and forth as she waits for Tali to come up. If she does. She wants to laugh because there are far more serious things that she's faced down with not even an ounce of the trepidation she feels right now, switching tracks on her stereo, never able to settle between something upbeat to get her moving around or something more mellow so she'll chill out. If her mother could only see her now, she'd laugh, because Cosima has always worried too much. Always.  
  
She almost wants to take another shower.  
  
"Okay, the room is cleaned, as sterile as it's going to be. Fresh laundry, fresh clothes, you scrubbed the shower, showered, scrubbed it again. Armour is clean, stored away."    
  
God if there are bugs in her quarters then someone's going to have a field day with it, Cosima Shepard, saviour of the Citadel, talking to herself as she nervously waits for the woman she's in love with to come to her quarters. Maybe she's right to be scared though. It's dangerous, not so much for her but definitely for Tali and Mordin's talk combined with what she already knew from Tali and her own research haven't filled her with much optimism. Mordin even said that 'oral contact' (clinical enough to make her squirm, flashing back to sex ed as a kid, to the talks the Alliance gave too) is dangerous. There's a chance she'll have a reaction too but that's pretty low on her list of worries at the moment and besides, she already survived being poisoned by a batarian bartender on Omega, she's pretty sure she can handle it. And there's no chance in hell she'd drop by Miranda's office to ask 'hey am I going to have a possibly deadly allergic reaction to my quarian girlfriend'. She likes Miranda but she's not quite on the list of people she can be so frank with and it makes her miss Ash being around, she could at least laugh off some nerves with Ash. Besides, Tali has damn good reasons to not trust Miranda and Cosima can respect that. Tali knows herself well enough and everyone knows that Cosima researches as much as she can for as long as she can. They can figure the rest out together, like they always have and the thought is comforting enough that she stops pacing, glancing over at a tank full of fish that supposedly help but not today.  
  
When the chime on the door sounds she mutes the music, smooths the front of her clothes – she went shopping on the Citadel and Nos Astra, missing her Alliance gear and uncomfortable in what Cerberus offered – and it's the first time Tali will ever have seen her the way she dresses off duty. Her voice cracks when she invites Tali in but she smiles because it's Tali and she loves her and she has to believe that they've both got this under control or she'll probably hide in her shower and that's not how she wants to spend what might well be her last night alive.  
  
"Hey," she murmurs, reaching out to take Tali's hands in hers as the door hisses shut behind her.  
  
"I was going to bring music but I don't know what you like and Garrus suggested wine but that'd mean filters and two lots and I don't know where I'd even get good-" Tali's babbling and Cosima smiles, a little huff of laughter escaping as she rubs a thumb over the back of Tali's hand until the quarian stops and stares down at them until Cosima gets self-conscious and tries to let go. "I meant what I said. Down in engineering. About feeling you. Really feeling you."  
  
"We don't have to do this if you aren't ready, I know how risky this is."  
  
"I know." She can't see her face but she's sure that Tali's expression is probably as grave as hers feels as she leads them down and to the sofa, perching on it stiffly as though she's never sat down before in her life. "But I took antibiotics and herbal supplements. I've been very scrupulous about...about everything."  
  
"I cleaned up here. Everything. And now I realise I maybe should've checked with you to make sure it's not going to cause a reaction"  
  
"You checked with Mordin right?" Tali asks and Cosima nods, cheeks heating with embarrassment. "Then it should be good, sterile protocols are sterile protocols."  
  
"I've got antihistamines, just to be safe."  
  
Tali drops her head into her hands, laughing quietly. "That's good, I mean I don't think I'll need them? Do you...I should have asked, I'm sorry, but remember, linking suit environments?"  
  
"Shit," Cosima mutters to herself before getting to her feet. "Yeah, it's here, cleaned, sterile, it's good to go, replaced parts-" She takes a breath, kicking off her shoes and the inside of the armour is clean, she can probably get away with just taking off the hoodie for this part, "but I didn't know how we'd do this-"  
  
"Now you're babbling." Tali teases but it's good, both of them on the same page at least and she lets Tali help her into the armour, the feel of it unfamiliar on her bare skin. Shorts and a tank top probably weren't a great idea tonight but she needed to feel comfortable and she can deal with it.  
  
Once the helmet is on, she tips her head forward, bumping her visor to Tali's faceplate with a grin.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Hey." Tali pauses then she laughs. "You're ridiculous."  
  
"You're the one who wanted that in your life as more than just friends."  
  
"You saved my life, you opened my eyes. I meant what I said," she almost sounds coy even as she pulls up her omni-tool, fiddling with her suit and Cosima's armour. "You're very dashing. In a sometimes ridiculous way but I want this." Then she stops and looks up, hands hovering between their suits. "I mean if you-"  
  
"I want this Tali, whatever you're comfortable with, that's what I want, it's what matters most."  
  
"Thank you," she whispers and there's hissing and her armour readout flashes. "Ready?"  
  
"Ready. I actually didn't really find much about this."  
  
"You researched?"  
  
"It's me Tali, I always do the reading."  
  
Tali touches their visors together again, her eyes bright and she wonders how bright they are under it. "This shouldn't take long, not when we're going to be taking them off but it should help, after."

"You going to be okay?"  
  
"Barring an immediate reaction, yes. We get through the relay, we beat the Collectors? Maybe after that I'll get sick but if this is going to maybe be the last night I'm here? I want it to be with you. I want to feel it, really feel it." As she speaks, she rubs her thumb across the back of Cosima's gauntleted hand the way Cosima had done earlier.  
  
"I remember what you said, back when you were on trial, it made me realise how much I get to take for granted."  
  
"So...you get it?" Tali's voice is hopeful, still nervous but this is a huge risk, Cosima can't blame her.  
  
"I get it. But you set the limits, okay?"  
  
"Got it."  
  
True to Tali's word, it doesn't take long to link their suit environments, Cosima watching carefully but Tali seems relaxed until she nods and ends the process, signalling for Cosima that she can get back out of the armour, helping her to pack it away again. Cosima wriggles out of her socks, flexing her toes and Tali laughs, nudging them carefully with a foot.  
  
"You're the first person I've ever wanted to do that with," she confesses. "And you're the first person who'll have seen me without my mask in years."  
  
"I'm honoured Tali'Zorah vas Normandy." It strikes her as sad at the same time, not being able to see the face of a friend or a loved one and she thinks of all the times her mother took care of her when she was sick, the comfort that a quarian probably can't have, even just her smile, gentle hands on Cosima's face.  
  
"You always know what to say." Tali takes a deep breath and steps back, hands moving to her faceplate. "Okay. Okay here we go."  
  
It's so simple in the end. Her thumb at one side, two fingers at the other and after a click and a hiss, the faceplate is lifted away and Cosima can see her face for the first time.  
  
"Hey Shepard," Tali says, her voice wobbling and Cosima can't help herself, hands reaching out to cup her face, fingers stroking up the ridges of what she assumes are ears, staring into her eyes. No pupils that she can see but they're bright and they really do glow, not just some strange part of the faceplate, pale lilac, a few shades warmer than her skin. "So..."  
  
"Tali," Cosima whispers, her throat tightening and she pushes back the soft hood, running her fingers through thick dark curls.  
  
"I'm nervous Cosima. I've never-- I can't believe--"  
  
"I'm scared too," she admits, holding out her arms and Tali steps into them, pressing her face into her neck as Cosima, sighing before she steps back and smiles, so warm, so full of love and Cosima can't believe that she's the one Tali wants, that Tali has trusted so much.  
  
It's Tali who pushes her down on the bed and pulls her into their first kiss. It's Tali who peels them both out of their clothes, reducing Cosima into a shuddering mess just from touching every inch of her she can reach, Cosima finding all the places where Tali's cybernetics make her tremble. She kisses Tali one last time before she puts the suit back on, gathering her into her arms and holding her tight, not thinking about the time ticking away before they'll have to get ready, if they even make it through the relay.  
  
"I'm going to be so ill after this," Tali tells her – startling Cosima because there weren't any allergic reactions and there was _plenty_ of what Mordin said should have been avoided – but she just laughs. "It's going to be _totally_ worth it."


End file.
